.∙ What did you hear me say? ∙.

A couple of weeks ago Astrid and her unbearable coworker were discussing about Internet interference and invasion on people’s private life. Among thousands of cases of Pedros and similar, this unexpected popularity might sound at fist pleasant, but in the other hand can be a curse.
I specifically want to talk about who flogs, blogs, and relationship sites have intrusively entered in our lives and special in my own.
I love writing about myself, ‘my life is an opened book’ some would say. Recently a friend of my, who I didn’t even know was my blog reader sent me an mms complaint about what I have written about him in one of my posts. I honestly have no idea what he was complaining about. I read over and over to try to understand where, when and how I have offended him so badly. No clue.
The question is how badly I’m exposing myself and people around me. Is this healthy? Should I play more attention and limit myself to write basic stuff?
This makes me remember another friend, Leon(belém) and his flog Shameless. He isn’t afraid of writing everything there, and he is infinitively more popular then I am. I also remember another acquaintance who is also gay and a local celebrity in Northeast of Brazil. He watches every single word, picture and deposition he post to preserve his image in society. Which side to choose? My own I always say. Whatever works with me it’s fine as long as I don’t get hurt of hurt someone, mitigating, perhaps, the exposure effects.

# The Cardigans - Erase and Rewind
Motto: “Say whatever you want to, listen whatever they want you to”
Next topic: The new guys in town

.∙ Please don’t make too much of it baby ∙.

Life is interesting. When you feel down seems everything around goes down with you, but the most interesting part is that when you feel fine, everything is great.
For long I quit looking for to be found instead. It’s not that I want to, but what I don’t is get into a hunt. That’s just not me. Not the Now-me, anyway.
We attract good things, that’s exactly what is happening with me nowadays. A couple of weeks ago I decided to give a break and date myself. I’m doing fine. But the guys just keep coming… I CERTAINLY NOT complaining about that. I’m a Leo remember? Whwhwh
Anyway, what I want to say is that life can be very, very pleasant if you let it to.
Great thing ahead. Professionally, personally.
Oh, by the way. One month without sex. I will extend to two! No plains, however now kissing is allowed YESA!!!

# Jennifer Paige - Crush
Motto: “Let’s no overanalyze. Don’t go too deep with me, baby”
Next topic: That’s not what I’m looking for

.∙Oops I… ∙.

I’m in my late twenties and I still find myself doing pre-adolescent stuff. It’s not that I regret doing so, but it’s interesting how some things never change.
This weekend I kinda let my hormones take over for a couple of hours and jerked myself for two, simultaneously, guys. It was totally retro, come one, but it was fun. I even received some pics from them, which I must confess, were totally used properly for my personal pleasure.
Anyway. I’m not 16 anymore and Yes, some sex will be provided in the future with both of them, if I get lucky, of them.. hwhwhw, but the point is that none of these make my feel like I’m falling in love or something. I didn’t even feel promiscuous about that either.
I’m still dating myself, so let’s consider this a threesome. Whwhwh
# s – Ft
Motto: “It doesn’t make sense, does it?”
Next topic: Dancing with myself

.∙ Dating myself ∙.

A verdade as vezes dói um pouco, ainda mais quando ela chega em doce cavalar. Ontem em conversa com uma grande amiga eu ouvi uma realidade inconveniente. Não que a gente já não sabia dela, mas que preferimos não ver. A ignorância é a benção dos fracos e despreparados.
Atraímos coisas boas quando pensamos em coisas boas, e a negatividade funciona da mesma forma. Nossa aparência pode até mostrar uma falsa realidade que mascara um maior problema interno, mas de certa forma, mais ou menos evidente, deixamos transparecer o real estado interno nosso.
Isso me fez lembrar de um ocorrido a umas 2 semanas atrás. Um carinha que conheci num site de relacionamentos de tanto insistir pra ver meu Orkut, eu mandei... Não deu nem cinco minutos para ele voltar me chamando que sou muito porra loka. Gente, por que? Segundo Tebs eu estava, e ainda estou, vendendo uma falsa imagem minha. You see what you get, right? Not quite!
Não sou assim, mas gosto que pensem isso de mim. Porque quero ser assim? Porque quero ser visto assim? Nenhuma nem outra... Por que será então? Bom, isso eu descubro com o tempo. Faz parte do meu crescimento pessoal. Doesn’t matter how much it takes, but I’ll succeed.
Como uma forma de consolidar essa etapa de autoaprendizado resolve namorar, a mim mesmo. Comprei uma aliança e tudo mais. Estar com alguém que egoistamente gosta de mim. Vou cuidar de mim, arrumar a casa para poder receber alguém, um dia...
# Arctic Monkeys – Fluorescent adolescent
Motto: “Precisamos arrumar a casa antes de receber visita”
Next topic: First date

.∙ Wash your hands ∙.

Feeling are complicated to control. I like to pretend to myself and other that I have control over mine, but I know as well as my friends that’s is a naked untruth.
Years can go by and feelings be buried; No boyfriend, or morality can get in the way when you deeply want something.
Is not that I’m glad or ashamed of what I did or anything. We pushed too far. We let ourselves go. This won’t happen again. No promises just willing to make things right next time.
This could get messy. Flashing backwards to some years ago. We loved each other in a spiritual way as we like to think of it. It’s a way to minimize the regret that we don’t have.
I’ll honor your request for silence and it’s up to you to wash your hands of this. I don’t seem to mind to overlook this suppose crime.
# Allanis Morrisette – Wash your hands
Motto: “What you don’t have you don’t need it now”
Next topic: “Dating myself”

.∙ What don’t you like about yourself ? ∙.

Today, it makes three weeks since I made my sexless promise. Since then I’ve kisses some, but I want to keep this challenge until the end. I’m more tan hormones. I quite sure of it. Even though I’m involving with some out of town boys. Yes, I’m sun of god. I need some distraction.
Well. By the end of this week I’ll complete 1 month and I’m going out of town. There are two out there wondering when I gonna come across.
Let’s go to today’s theme. I take as no presumption to say that everybody has something, or many whwhw, they would like to change. I have myself my growing list of things. Some provideble some not so much. But the point is that we are not satisfied with that we have.
What I can say is that what we want is not necessarily what we need, and both of those things are, most of the times, impossible to get. One way to comfort is an U2 lyric which I take as today’s motto.
# U2 – Beautiful day
Motto: “What you don’t have you don’t need it now”
Next topic: Wash your hands

.∙ Be careful what you wish for, coz you just might get it ∙.

Since we are kids the desire for things has always conquered our minds. The capitalist spirit prevails through our teenage and goes until we die. Some even keep desiring after that.
The highest point is with the adolescents who just can’t control it. Always wanting and asking and even getting exactly what they wished for. Is this healthy? Well, a lot of everything isn’t, is it?
The real question is not receiving, but what we are asking for. Is it good for us? If it’s not, what to do when we get it?
# The Pussycat dolls – When I grow up
Motto: “What don’t you like about yourself?”
Next topic: What don’t you like about yousef?